December 2011
207 posts
8 tags
listen to your heart, but use your head.
For a year and a half, everything I did was for him. Every word spoken, every deed done, every kiss planted- it was all for him. I lost myself in his broken depths. I drowned in his “love”, confused as to which was was up and which was down, unable to swim with the current. Until one day- that one day- that I ended it. That was the first time I did something for myself. Finally, I saw...
Dec 31st
7 notes
1 tag
subjectiveopinions replied to your photo: Tumblr Crushes: So I usually don’t do these… the sweetest thing anyone’s said about my writing. thank you so much! :) you are very welcome dear!
Dec 31st
Dec 31st
6,317 notes
dearyou-loveme asked: Dear You, you and your words are beautiful and so rare. They move me. Truly. Love, Me
Dec 31st
4 tags
sealed with a soft kiss.
Lull me to sleep With promises Of sweet dreams Coated in the ink That drips from  Your bones, and Dries on my lips, Sealed with a  Soft kiss.
Dec 31st
6 notes
29
mysearchforwisdom: To give in is to give up, Well that works, For people whose minds aren’t stuck, Glued to the surface, Of a wooden roll top desk, And a pad, Of empty canvas, Needing ink, To make a beautiful mess. 
Dec 31st
11 notes
1 tag
paperboundspine replied to your photo: Tumblr Crushes: So I usually don’t do these… I love you :D :D i love you too (in case you hadn’t noticed haha)
Dec 31st
1 note
8 tags
my autistic friend.
Enraptured by your beauty, Spilling forth unbound by A lack of human ingenuity, I am drawn into the circle Of your widespread arms Incited by unreserved passion  Clouding sky blue eyes Without a hint of hesitation.
Dec 31st
13 notes
9 tags
Dec 31st
6 notes
7 tags
there is freedom in brokenness.
andthisiswhyimguarded: Imperfection is bound, and wound, Deep within and around my pale bones. It leaks through open pores, unable to close, Too full of the dust of vanity and insanity. Mistake after mistake etch lines, Connecting the dots on my skin. Sin stains the blood that pools in the sheets That lie beneath me as I watch rivers flow From wrists craftily slit. The world tells me...
Dec 31st
16 notes
6 tags
To: Max
Won’t you come with me as I sail these seas? I’m leaving this barren hell and heading to higher ground where rain and snow are as common as the sound of our hearts beating like drums. This place has nothing left for me, I’m ready to leave. And just so you know, when I go, I don’t plan on coming back. So here I am with an extended hand- honey won’t you please come with...
Dec 31st
3 notes
4 tags
all i'm asking...
Love me With everything  You have in you
Dec 31st
3 notes
dreamsofawallflower: I want to write something So poignant So powerful It will reach out to your heart Penetrate your soul And shake the very foundation  Upon which your existence is built- But I don’t know how.
Dec 31st
48 notes
4 tags
dark thoughts.
Shadows trace lines Across your face Throwing your eyes Into sharp contrast- Milky white, crystal blue, And merciless black.
Dec 31st
5 notes
Anonymous asked: So does that last post mean that you are expecting? If yes, congratulations. <3
Dec 31st
5 tags
subconscious truths.
I woke up from a nightmare, confused at first as to why I was so terrified. Then it all came rushing back to me. I was sitting in some strange room, talking to some guy I had a one night stand with years ago. He wasn’t doing anything- we weren’t doing anything. Just talking. Out of the blue he looked at my stomach. Then his gaze came back to my eyes and he said, “You’re...
Dec 31st
9 notes
7 tags
the artist.
Every morning, she wakes up beneath the spray of warm shower water. Shampoo suds leak in streaks down her back and slide away down the insides of her thighs. When they have all found their way to the drain, the water shuts off and she wraps herself in a towel. She stays in the towel as she pulls out her makeup. With a smile, she begins. Skipping on the foundation (she hates hiding her freckles),...
Dec 30th
7 notes
an incident of blackbirds: →
inkedribs: To disappear—I’m addicted to the idea. I peel my fingerprints from my fingertips and set other patterns into the tender skin, make my touch untraceable. I burn handwritten notes and letters and exams, dye my hair bright red and my eyebrows burgundy and ink a strange tattoo along my collarbone. I become another person with a new name and an aura of intrigue, I become like a city after...
Dec 30th
50 notes
Nonsensical Stuffs: posting  →
mimikova: sometimes when i write  i feel it’s just right and i post and push it  out to the light and i wait and refresh  and wait so see if anyone out there     kinda gets me mostly they don’t  but that’s okay cause i know i’m a bore  with not much to say but that won’t stop me from posting away to find out if they get           the next thing i say more average than average  or  just a bit...
Dec 29th
22 notes
8 tags
no love like a mother's.
Pain floods eyes That have borne  The weight and life Of another, so small And now so big In the hands of this world Where mistakes Must be made, and Consequences paid.
Dec 29th
5 notes
5 tags
personal ramblings...
My mom is always going on about how I never show her what I write. I am afraid that she will read too much into it; and I’m also afraid that what she finds will be the truth. If she finds the truth that lurks between the lines, I will have to endure the hurt that will settle in her eyes like the dust of this pain has settled in my lungs. She will see the lead that has replaced my soft bones,...
Dec 29th
4 notes
Rest
mysearchforwisdom: She sits with tired eyes shivering from Decembers breath wrapped in warm blankets eyes lit by the blue glow of a laptop She’s tired, she’s been tired for awhile she feels sick, and her body tells her so with this aching feeling reverberating through her hands and feet. If I could I would speak sweet nothings till she falls asleep massaging words till all her aching muscles...
Dec 29th
14 notes
You are fireworks held in a glass jar...
Dec 29th
14 notes
7 tags
soundtrack of my life.
We play like broken records, With love like needles that rip Over scratches and tear into  The thin vinyl veneer we coat Ourselves in to protect from the Cruelty of knowing this is the same track, And even skipping can’t hide the cracks.
Dec 29th
6 notes
6 tags
its Wednesday night.
Dissension stretches wires Taught with tension Threatening to crack  The very foundation Of everything contained  Between these puce green walls That I hate so much.
Dec 29th
21 notes
6 tags
love me, but please don't break me.
I am afraid of this power That you hold over me Unknowingly. This power to destroy With just a few words Placed correctly. At any given time You can wield them Mercilessly. This power that I speak of Is the power to love me Unconditionally.
Dec 28th
10 notes
7 tags
to each their own [problems]
You say your life Is oh so tragic, But  Honey, you don’t know Tragic. . You say your family Is split at the seams, but Honey, you don’t even know A broken home. . You say your mom’s brief Anger is terrible, but Honey, you don’t know Rage. . You say your life sucks And you would do anything To change it- but Honey, you don’t know All the evil in this...
Dec 28th
8 notes
thoughtsongodandlife replied to your post: spontaneous metamorphosis. This is brilliant.   why thank you :)
Dec 28th
6 tags
spontaneous metamorphosis.
One of these days, I am going to change Simply because I can- You’ll be left with nothing Except a fragile memory  Of the girl I used to be. No more eager to please. I will be independently me.
Dec 28th
16 notes
7 tags
my lexeme.
Alone I release These drips of red ink From hollow bones, I carve words- Beautiful, cruel, forgotten words Into creamy innocence. I twist them Ruthlessly defying, And seeking to condemn.  These words are my life-blood, Leaking through the cracks; Spent on fallen tears And nights of never looking back.
Dec 28th
7 notes
halfhoursonearth: Remind me How to melt At the mere sight Of another person Show me What I’ve missed Whilst I’ve been learning The tricks of the forgotten trade Love me Because fuck If there’s anything worse than unrequited love It’s forgetting what any kind of love is like. Forgive me For clinging on to you But I have nowhere else to turn I’m at a fork in the road And I feel...
Dec 28th
26 notes
Dec 28th
11,130 notes
paperboundspine: I am going to be spending my days counting down to the one where your sunlight will warm my skin and I will be allowed to have you in my arms again.
Dec 27th
3 tags
He didn't want to watch rivers rise alone.
Dec 27th
2 notes
Oh dear, haha- I have missed you guys very much! Hope you all had a great Christmas! :) -S.J.
Dec 26th
Tumbleweeds
claritea: There were white cranes Drowning in the shallow water Of our families pond. I watched them with soft eyes as They sorted through their worldly Belongings and Abandoned their babies in cold. We are not so different in essence - I sometimes desert the things That mean the most just to Feel what it’s like to Have nothing.
Dec 26th
118 notes
5 tags
in her eyes.
Shards of light Illuminate spheres of glass Throwing shadows Into deep contrast between The slender curves That make up beauty.
Dec 26th
11 notes
5 tags
the night shift
He worked the night shift Toiling to stack luggage high For passengers riding tonight Where the bleak sound of steam Hisses through engines Shooting trains off like rockets, Only morning can stop this. Sometimes he follows them To their destinations, riding Quietly in those swaying carts To places without a night shift Where normal people work With the sun and a smile While all the...
Dec 25th
5 notes
5 tags
To:
Will you be the silence That glues together This fractured shell of a once Beautiful mademoiselle  Hiding beneath the livery curtains Of a dusty heart?
Dec 24th
3 tags
{untitled}
Your skin absorbs the moonlight That peeks through these gloomy Clouds that drift over us Beneath an ebony sky at midnight.
Dec 24th
3 notes
4 tags
you will never be a mistake.
If there was anything I could do To make you see the beauty Within you, so impossible to hide That it must burst out beneath The moonlight, and borrow the stars To place them in your eyes, I would travel to the ends of  Your beating heart and back If only to show you that This beauty I see, is not  Simply me imagining- You are stunning, you are great. Don’t you ever say you were...
Dec 24th
9 notes
6 tags
for some reason, it doesn't seem like Christmas...
I hate to be a scrooge, But this year just Isn’t filled with holiday cheer. Christmas used to be a Favorite of mine, The very best of family time. But family has crumbled Plagued by divorces and deaths, Unemployment and rent. So forgive me for my lack Of holiday cheer. It just doesn’t feel like Christmas this year.
Dec 24th
7 notes
6 tags
pack up and go.
There is this ache Deep in my bones, That settles like morning frost  In-between the spaces Of muscles and tendons. My soul is also weary Of these ways, Where every meeting Is begun with fierce battle cries, And ended with bloodshed. Empty luggage taunts me With its promises, Promises of adventure and Freedom and solitude; All you have to do is pack up And go.
Dec 24th
5 notes
6 tags
just let me leave.
Family obligations  That I have no desire To be a part of, Float before the glassy Surface of gray eyes Poised in my skull. Family obligations That push and pull me This way and that, Give me headaches That cleave my brain Into two tortured halves. . Please, I beg- No more, enough. I can’t do this anymore. I want need out of  This defective thing called  Family, bred into a...
Dec 24th
5 notes
1 tag
To: my dear followers
I really don’t feel like writing today. Its not that the words won’t come, its just that writing doesn’t seem appealing. Hopefully it will pass soon. If it doesn’t, please know that I adore every single one of you, and I hope your holidays are spent full of merriment! -S.J.
Dec 23rd
3 notes
6 tags
passionless
andthisiswhyimguarded: The weight of the dead Has infiltrated my hollow Bones, filling them with Gray sky and black birds.  They sit like jello, molding To the inner curves and Sliding through the cracks That fill the space between. The weight of the dead Is like iron in my bones, Spreading to my lungs And making simple battles Fought, yet not won.
Dec 23rd
13 notes
5 tags
nightmares
andthisiswhyimguarded: Sleep pulls at my eyelids, gently convincing them to close. I fight off the inevitable and get up from my comfy corner on the couch. The tile is cold beneath my bare feet, sending goosebumps up to my spine and down my arms. I throw a pot of water on the stove and mechanically pull out the powder for hot chocolate. While I wait for the kettle to scream in a way that I...
Dec 23rd
9 notes
4 tags
help me.
When will you hear  These screams echoing Through the alley As they rip out of me Like violent strikes  Of white-hot lightning?
Dec 23rd
4 tags
he was supposed to be my one night stand.
People see a couple smiling and laughing, and they always want to know how the couple met. I always tell them some silly story about school because it’s true; yet I can’t help but share a look with my other half, knowing that the day we met and the day we fell in love are two totally different stories.
Dec 23rd
5 notes
6 tags
vaguely relatable
My world is a collection of people and bad memories. An accumulation of lost friends, forgotten friends, and friends that just slipped away. A batch of experiences that most would meet in a dark alley, that I have met in my home. But these days, even though dark alleys still exist, I am no longer walking through them with dead eyes. Life, although still difficult, is somewhat happier. Friends are...
Dec 23rd
11 notes